Life after divorce...! It exists! - Family First Solicitors

Firstly, there IS life after a divorce.

We meet people all the time who are at the beginning or middle of divorce, and they cannot see the end of the process. It seems overwhelming and endless. That drags people down. We promise you that the only way out is through – press on through the process and gradually your small progresses will pay off. You will get through this.

Count the cost.

You will have spent money – sometimes too much money. You need to reassess your finances. Post divorce is often a time when people realise they never really looked after their own money before. Why don’t you take control? Try zero based budgeting (where all your money is given a job each month until it is all accounted for) or making an appointment with an Independent Financial Advisor, or finally starting up that pension you meant to get round to.

You will get your mojo back.

So take the opportunity to try new things. Use the energy released from all the lawyer stuff, to get your new career off the ground, or invest in you, or turn your business around.

Use your time wisely.

If you have a child arrangement that means you get some time off from parenting – use it wisely! Don’t mope. Use the time to do things. Study. Turn out. Go out. Organise money. Do a side hustle.

Pay it forward.

For some people, they want to pay it forward. So take that new knowledge about strategy in divorce, and help someone else.

Start looking after yourself.

You need to be a whole person, before you are fit to be with someone else. Learn to cook, keep your house, organise your own social calendar. Maybe try some therapy. Find out about yourself – what is making you tick and what just happened in your previous relationship…? Therapy without pressure to “fix ” something is more likely to bear fruit.

Don’t rush into a new relationship.

You are likely to be vulnerable for some time. Do not rush into anything with someone. The more vulnerable you are the more you have a big sign above your head saying ” I have a bit of money- pick me”. Be careful.

Protect your assets.

If you have a settlement worth something, then remember you can protect it with a prenuptial agreement or a deed of trust. Get advice before signing on the dotted line… and watch out for a remortgage, where your money is the deposit, but you both end up on the house title as 50/50 owners.

Don’t look back.

You may be in a different place from your ex. If they are still angry, and you have moved on – you cannot change that. If you are still fuming, don’t expect them to be in the same place as you. Do we need to say NOT to end up as a booty call for old times’ sake??…