How to Prepare for Family Court so the other side doesn’t bully you.

Family Court can feel like the unknown and particularly intimidating where you have no prior experience of court. This can feel overwhelming when you are already dealing with the stress and emotions of the relationship/ family breakdown, and even more so when your ex partner has full representation and attends court with a barrister.

Whether you’re a litigant in person or you’ve got legal representation, there are things you can do to hold your ground and not get bullied.

Know What You’re Walking Into at Family Court

Preparation
- Know what’s in your statement
- Predict (as best you can) what the other side is likely to say. Looking back at any correspondence you may have received from them will help you know their position and the points that they are likely to raise.
- Think about what the judge needs to hear and bullet point the key things you want to get across to the judge. This way you’re already in a stronger position and it will help you not to feel overwhelmed. Don’t try and rehearse a script to read to the Judge – this will only cause you more stress and it will likely never go to plan!
- Try and know your numbers (what does 50%/ 60%/70% mean in real terms in relation to your assets)

Don’t Rise to It in the Courtroom

You may feel like the other side are trying to rattle you. Unfortunately, that’s their job, but if you stay calm and stick to the facts, they’ve got nothing to work with. Deal with the points that need addressing and ignore anything which doesn’t help progress the case.

The moment you lose your temper or get flustered, the other side get an advantage. Take a breath. Pause before you answer. The judge is watching how you handle yourself, not just what you say (particularly so at final hearing).

Speak Up if Something Isn’t Right in Court

If for good reason you feel the other party, their lawyer, or even the process itself has said or done something which isn’t right you can say so. Judges are not there to let one side dominate or bully you. If you need a break, ask for one. If you don’t understand a question, say so. You can even ask for special measures before a court hearing for example a screen in the court room or a separate waiting room (Ask in advance).

Get the Right Support

Litigants in person are not at a disadvantage just because you are unrepresented. However it is easy to feel on the backfoot when you don’t know what to expect from the family court process and at certain family hearings. If it is possible we would recommend being represented (final hearings/ fact find hearings). Even if you can’t afford full representation, options like Pay As You Go legal advice mean you can have an experienced family lawyer give you advice at a time that really matters (without the eye-watering bill). So you can feel much less intimidated about the process and what to expect.